October is all about that lump. . .
- Stephanie Partridge
- Oct 8, 2021
- 3 min read
You see it in magazines, you hear it on the radio, companies are asking for donations: breast cancer awareness month is in full swing. October (aka Pinktober) is a great time to check yo' self.
Get those babies out of their shackles and make sure they're healthy and as normal as they should be. If you're not sure, go see a doctor; they literally do this for a living. I know the pink tutus and all the fluff surrounding October may make breast cancer seem less serious, but it's for real. It can hit anyone at any time and for no reason at all.
I was diagnosed as a healthy 32-year-old, with no family history of breast cancer. I DID NOT SEE IT COMING. I legitimately could not even process what was happening. Why in the world would I have cancer? It made zero sense, but it happened. Cancer doesn't discriminate, doesn't wait for a better time, doesn't check for lifestyle. Sometimes cancer just comes.
I was pregnant with our fifth child at the time of my diagnosis. I got ALL the questions when people saw me bald and pale with a very rounded, pregnant belly: "Won't the chemo kill the baby? Is that really safe? Did you look into other options?"
I heard them all, and I knew that people were well-meaning, but really? Sometimes I wanted to answer as if I had never thought of their questions before.
"Wow, I had no idea that chemo was toxic. I'm actually just doing this for fun. Next time I'll think about it. . . Oh, thanks for asking, yes I am doing this in hopes that everything will work out badly. . . . No, I didn't see the point in looking into other options that would be less damaging, traumatizing, painful, humiliating, or difficult. I just went to the hardest route possible and never looked back." Okay, I'm digressing. Just know -- cancer stinks.
With all that emotional diarrhea, I also want to add that cancer was one of the best parts of my life, too -- okay, maybe not the actual cancer part. Having cancer taught me a level of empathy that I never imagined having. I got to a very low place mentally, physically, and emotionally. I got low enough to truly understand desperation. I know what it feels like to grasp at anything and everything possible to just get through a day, a week, a month. I know what it feels like to fear death, hate death, and finally come around to peacefully accepting death. These experiences have changed my life. It's like I saw hurting people for the first time, and I wanted to tell them, "Hey, I hurt too. Do you wanna hurt together?"
The greatest thing that came from cancer was my strengthened relationship with my Heavenly Father. I wrote a book about my experiences with cancer. It was incredibly healing to my soul. Early on in treatments, I felt a gentle heavenly nudge to write about what I was going through. I started a Facebook page (StephaniesPinkRibbon) to keep family and friends updated. I thought I was writing for them, but God was telling me what I needed to hear. I was writing for me. (If you are thinking about writing your own story. CLICK HERE because I'd love to help!) On the days when I was feeling despair, I would sit up in bed and the Lord would tell me something inspiring to write in a social media post. I often didn't feel what I was writing until after I wrote it, and then the peace would come. The peace would always come after I had recorded the thoughts. It was never before. I frequently found my posts being tearfully written as I wrote the exact advice I needed to hear at that moment. Heavenly Father is real. The Holy Ghost is real. Jesus Christ is real.
Anyway, back to the "big C." These are some resources I've compiled that you should check out, including my memoir:
Stay safe, people, and give those frontal appendages some attention this weekend.
With love,
Stephanie
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